Tuesday, April 28, 2009


Just a short post, but I wanted to commemorate all of Bean's first gifts!!

Above, these are the first (and only so far!) things that DH and I have bought for Bean. First of all we bought one of the cot sheets. All on sale for 50% off!! So I went back and stocked up on all the other matching bits :) Plus, I really needed to get the bassinet sheet set, cos I don't know what type of bed/cot we're going to get yet!!

Bumble bees will match the curtain material that I have.

This jumpsuit was given to Bean from DH's parents :) He says "It's funny because it's true."

This is the first present that Bean got from friends. A bib and a 'crunchy' book... very textile!

Also, when I was 10 weeks, one of my BF's gave me a card, and a massage voucher... gotta book it in!! I'm thinking that I will probably go next week when I'm on my days off work. Can't wait!

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Bean is a Teen! Random thoughts

I said to DH on Tuesday night, "Bean will be a Teen tomorrow." He thought that was kinda funny :) Of course it means that we're 13 weeks now.

I'm starting to really get used to the idea, and telling more people. I honestly thought that the rumour would have spread right through work by now, cos that's the usual course at my work (hey, there's almost 200 women working together, the gossip usually spreads pretty quickly!) But it seems like people are keeping this one quiet... I'm suprised!!

The funniest comment that I got yesterday was when one of the girl's was looking at the 12 week picture. She pointed to Bean's head, and asked me if that was a penis that she could see!! LOL And I thought that it's head would be blatantly obvious to medical professionals!! :P

Another one of the girls was looking at me thoughtfully, and then looked at the picture, and said she thought it was a girl, cos she was getting a 'girl aura' from me. I told her she has a 50% chance of being right.

DH also thinks it's a girl. He always calls it 'she' and 'her.' I originally thought boy, now I've swung over to girl in the last couple of weeks. But really, it's not a strong feeling either way. I guess we will see how many times I change my feeling.

I had coffee with one of my friends on Monday, whose baby I looked after in the special care nursery about 8 years ago. She's so adorable and excited about the Bean, I love her. And she gave us Bean's first present, so cute!! I will put some photos up in my next post. DH and I have finally bought Bean a present also, so I will put all those pics up soon. (Forgive me, I'm on the NEW laptop this morning, and I wouldn't have a clue how to get the photos on here!! Will switch to the desktop for the next post.)

It's getting kinda easier to say "I'm pregnant," although still feels kinda strange saying it out loud, to people outside of the 'bubble' of friends that know what we've gone through.

DH told me last night that he can't wait until my belly pops out! I thought it might be a bit more 'out there' by now, especially since I read that my uterus is about the size of a small melon now... hmmm I wonder where it's hiding? My shape has definitely changed, but it's spread a little more to the sides so that I have more of a 'muffin top' these days... I would really prefer if it poked out the front, that would be cuter for sure!!

Sunday, April 19, 2009

The Secret Life of Us

We've started telling people that we're pregnant.

DH was really excited about it, he kept bugging me about when he was allowed to start telling. I kept telling him, that would be after the 12 week scan.

And so, that means that we've reached that time.

Letting the cat out of the bag.

I told my bosses first, to make sure that they heard the news from me, rather than from the rumour mill. I thought that was the professional thing to do. And they were really nice about it! Don't get me wrong, I didn't expect them to be awful, but one boss in particular can be pretty disinterested about a lot of things in people's personal lives. When my best friend told her that she was pregnant, she barely tore her eyes away from the computer screen. They both said that it was wonderful for us, because they knew that we'd been trying for awhile (They both knew about the first m/c, cos I was off sick at the time that I was supposed to be having a job interview for my Clinical Nurse Specialist position).

So I've told afew other people at work as well. I feel SO weird telling people. It's like, the Secret Life of Us, that has always surrounded our pregnancy attempts and IF, is kinda going public. I mean, we're not telling people about all of our history of course, but even just saying "I'm pregnant" is the strangest thing ever. I'm actually finding it easier just to show people the ultrasound picture and let them figure it out for themselves.

People have been really positive, which has been wonderful. I've gotten so many hugs :) And I'm suprised by how many people have commented that we've been trying for awhile... I really didn't realise that so many people knew that! Or maybe they're just guessing because we've been married for eight and a half years and have been so far childless?

Either way, it's nice to have a positive response to a pregnancy. I know all of my friends mean very well, but of course they are always pretty reserved in their excitement when we get pregnant, due to my poor track record. The positive response is strange, but very refreshing.

I think I could get used to it.

Friday, April 17, 2009

12 week scan


I am so amazed at how such a well-formed little baby can be inside me, and I don't feel a thing. And so far I can't really see a thing either! I know it's growing cos I'm still hungry and tired all the time, but apart from that... how would you ever know if you didn't look inside?


When we were sitting in the waiting room, I was starting to think that maybe it was a bad idea to have come back to the ultrasound place where we found the missed miscarriage, and the empty gestational sac. Once I was taken to the change room, and was sitting by myself waiting, I started to freak out a little bit. Had to really concentrate on my breathing, and tried to focus on crap celebrity gossip magazines. Then it was our turn!

I wore long socks, and I was really glad cos they make you change into a gown, and it was a cold night, so the extra coverage was fab :) Turns out we had the same doctor as we did the last time, although I really don't remember him. Guess I blocked him out a little.

Suprisingly, the jelly stuff that they put onto your tummy was warm! I had braced myself for that freezing cold jelly, so that was a pleasant suprise! Dr P put the probe onto my tummy, and on the screen appeared our little Bean...

I feel kinda funny now calling it Bean, cos it no longer looks anything like a Bean! My favourite part is the cute little button nose it has! We could see it's little heart beating away in it's chest, and this time it was clocked at 170bpm! It's really speeding along now, and Bean was asleep at the time too!

Dr P showed us all of Bean's limbs, (I loved the feet, so adorable!) and inside it's head so we could see both halves of the brain. He was trying to measure the skin fold at the back of the neck, but Bean would NOT wake up and move so that he could get a good measurement! He got me to cough quite a few times, but that didn't work. And then Dr P kept jiggling the probe into my tummy (my poor bladder) to try to wake it up! DH said that Bean must take after Mummy, cos he reckons he can never wake me up either :)

Finally Bean moved a little so that he could get the measurement. He had a look at my right ovary, and told me that I had ovulated from that side... I told him that I'd actually ovulated from both, but I don't think he heard me. He said the right ovary is still a little big, but not too bad.

We got a copy of the DVD, and 2 photos. I've posted the best photo. It's the one that I've been taking to work to show people, and I let DH take the not-as-good one to his work hehehe I do work with medical professionals after all!!

Caught up with girlfriends last night, including one that has been in the UK for a couple of years, and we watched the dvd. After a couple of minutes they all got distracted chatting about pregnancy and babies, but I couldn't take my eyes off my precious little Bean there on the screen.

Saturday, April 4, 2009

Waving hello

We had our first obstetrician appointment yesterday (for this pregnancy). Was so nice to be back seeing Dr J after all this time, and with great news for a change. I'm back among the 'normal' pregnants, although I don't feel like I fit in with them exactly. I'm still nervous about things progressing, and conscious of every little change in my body and how I'm feeling. They all look so casual and comfortable sitting in the waiting room.

The appointment went really well. Dr J answered all my questions, and there were no real suprises with any of his answers. He checked my BP, which was up a little compared to usual, but he knew that I was a bit anxious about having a look at bub on the ultrasound machine in his office. It gave us such terrible news last time, and I have a really good memory when it comes to things like that.

Anyway, he got the ultrasound machine, and put it on my tummy (which doesn't really seem any bigger to me, just a slightly different shape maybe) and there on the screen was our little baby!! I didn't look at DH to see how he was feeling, I couldn't tear my eyes away from that little miracle. It looks nothing like it did at the first ultrasound, when it was just a blob on the screen. Now it actually looks like a tiny baby. And it waving at us!! :) The most amazing thing I have ever seen. When it kinda jumped up and then settled again, Dr J said it was showing off. I said it must take after it's mother, and DH didn't disagree lol

It was the most amazing and surreal thing ever. I can't believe that beautiful little image, waving away at us, is inside me and growing every day! I thought this morning, I should've got DH to take a photo of it on his phone, cos the machine doesn't have a printer attached to it. But at the time, my head went so blank of all other thoughts, all I could do was stare at the screen and marvel. And bite my lip so as not to cry with joy :)