Mother dear

Ever since we uttered the words 'IVF' my mum has been really weird about it. If I mention IVF, she's all dismissive, telling me "You won't need that." And in the last week, whenever I've filled her in on doctor's appointments etc, she's made comments like "As long as that makes you happy." She's been driving me insane!!!!

After I had the laparoscopy in August, she told me that she thinks there's a mental barrier that's been stopping us from falling pregnant (OK seriously, I don't think my uterus is that in tune with what my brain is thinking) and she said that she can totally understand that I would be scared to get pregnant again, after all our losses, but she thought that now I would be able to move on and get pregnant.

So I went to her house for a coffee this morning, to chat about IVF and what is happening, and try to suss out what the issue is with her. I think it was really worthwhile actually. Turns out that she just doesn't understand why we're going for IVF when we know that I can get pregnant. I told her that previously that was true, IVF never used to be an option for us. But I pointed out to her that it has been a good 18 months since I have made a baby the old fashioned way, (Not for lack of trying) and that this is a new problem, that IVF can help us with.

She seemed to go along with that alright, and understood the rationale behind seeking treatment. Then she asked me if the counselling session would deal with psychological issues that are preventing me from falling pregnant.

So basically, my mum still thinks I have a psychological problem. I can't help feeling abit offended by that, when I really truly think that I have coped with the last four years pretty fucking well, considering all the shit that we've been through.

Thanks mum :)